Posted: February 7, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

Feel a sense of floating at the moment. Still waiting to her about my departure from NZ to the UAE. Been waiting now for almost 6 weeks. Patience and Faith has definitely been tested.

Strangely though I have felt a sensation of ‘movement’. Working with the Mamaku Crew and traveling here to TAG has helped with this sensation too. I have only been working at BC for a few days and already feel at home.

That’s what I mean by departing. I have departed from my old live in Htown (Except for my daughters, I can never lose that connection) and transitioned into a new life. Which again I will depart from, if only temporarily to move into another life overseas.

The thing about departing it will never be permanent. Only if you want it to be permanent. I know that somewhere in the future A and I will no doubt bump into each other. I constantly wonder how I would react If I did see her. Anyway, I truly believe that our BU is not a full departure from what we had. I think we will have some kind of relationship, but I couldn’t tell you what it is going to look like though. And I’m not expecting this to happy in the near future either.

I went walking on the beach this afternoon. A wonderful feeling. Straight after work and off to the beach. How many jobs and locations allow you to do that? Walked into the water and allowed the waves to smash against my legs. As each wave departed I thought about my own departure. Each wave represented my own feelings. One would hit me hard like the BU of my and A. Another would just tickle my feet, teasing me, like my trip overseas has been doing for the past few months!. Other waves were smooth and soothing. These waves were my friends and family showing their concern and support.

As I had all this running through my mind I had an epiphany. I decided that departing is not a bad thing. I am trying to depart from my old negative behaviors right now. What’s wrong with that? Nothing in my books. My daughters have so much love and support from M’s whanau and mine in Htown. I had always thought I needed to stay in htown. Settle down their and buy a house. I now think differently. For various reasons my daughters don’t have to have me right their all the time. I can still live close but not necessarily in the same town. I’ve decided that when I return from the UAE I’m going to look at moving closer to the Mamaku crew and of course to the beach. I can still be a strong father figure to my daughters and provide them with a beautiful place to stay right near the beach too. Well that’s what my epiphany was.

I’m gonna have a great talk to my daughters about it soon and see what they think. Right now there the only girls in my life that matter…besides my mum of course…she’s the best mum in the world. Well my world anyway. When she departs I’m not sure what my world will look like.

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