Arrival

Posted: February 18, 2012 in Uncategorized
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So I typed up a seemingly short blog just 1 minute  ago. Pressed publish TWICE and nothing happened. So here I am on Arrival part2. Let’s see how much I can remember!

I sit here looking out of my hotel window in Abu Dahbi, 8 floors above the sandy metropolis. And I wonder to myself “How the heck did I get here?” Not only was it the breakup of A and I but it was also the motivation I had to move on and make positive changes in my life. All part of the master plan to heal myself and hopefully become a better version of myself. D 2.0.

I have been skyping and face timing my daughters almost everyday. Getting use to the 9 hours time difference we have separating us. It has been great. I know I would’ve found things much harder without this face to face communication. They are a constant reminder to me about what I need to do while I am here. I need to make sure that I achieve my goal of building a positive future for myself so that my daughters can have an even more positive future. I know that being here and make certain sacrifices will help me achieve this. And the longer I have been here the easier I have been able to see this.

My arrival here has been a long time coming. All those following my blog know that. I realize that my journey to self-healing has just begun too.

What is funny for those of you who know A is that one of the first people I met here is from the UK, Blonde and LOVES animals. This of course makes sense as this describes A perfectly. I laughter with CM (that’s her initials) about this as we had a deep and meaningful conversation about this. I know, already pouring my heart out. It felt good to let her see my honesty and integrity. I feel she could see that I wasn’t trying to look for sympathy, she did actually ask why I came here and when I was vague about it she asked why again. I had nothing to hide. Open book and all. I’m sure over the next few months she will feel comfortable enough to share her story too.

Things right now are pleasant and I don’t have as many heart pains as I have had previously. I still think about A a lot. Maybe 50% of my day. Which I promise you is a dramatic fall! I still love her and miss her and I probably always will. I’m just working on increasing the size of my heart so I can fit someone else in. My hearts pretty big already though, but does get a little bruised sitting on my sleeve all day. God’s helping though. I would’ve had made it this far without him!

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