Physical Contact

Posted: February 26, 2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , , , ,

That’s what I miss. Not so much the whole sexual contact. More so the hugs, cuddles and simple handholding contact. I’m a tactile kind of person.

I’ve been talking to my daughters almost everyday. It makes me happy that they are always so pleased to see and talk to me. If they weren’t I’d be really, really concerned. Being such a tactile person I need that physical contact. I miss cuddling my daughters. Having them jump up into my arms, well not so much M1 she is almost 16! But M2 loves running into my arms. M1 has been my babygirl for a very long time. I am blessed that she is so innocent and naive. She knows how much I love her. M2 is still only 7, I know she loves me, but she seems very relaxed about me being here. I guess that’s the whole age difference. Before I left I made sure that I spent as much time as I could keeping our physical contact strong, helping confirm my love for them.

That physical contact is different.

When A and I broke up I would sleep on her side of the bed, just to feel close to her. I didn’t really do that when we were together. I would drive in my car and reach across to the passenger seat with my hand and imagine that I was still holding her hand. It’s been hard not having that physical contact. I miss it.

I’ve found that the more connected you are the more amazing the physical contact feels. Again, it doesn’t have to be sexual contact.

I’m not really sure what I can do to make sure I don’t let this lack of physical contact mess with my resolve. Sins of the flesh and all.

It reminds me of what goes on here with local males. It is very acceptable in this culture for males to openly walk around holding hands. Very strange in most western cultures as this is seems as a ‘gay’ or ‘homosexual’ act. I’ve thought about this for a while. I believe it has to do with one simple thing. In islamic law it is forbidden for male and females to show public displays of affection. Sure you still see it happen here. But not often. Most of the working class here are males. Miles away from their families. They spend the majority of their time living and working with males. So I believe it’s something innate, in our blood to have physical contact with other human beings. Since they are unable to do that with females here, especially in public it becomes almost convenient for them to hold hands, etc in public. Makes sense right?

There in lies my conundrum. I’m not turning gay anytime soon and I can’t be in a relationship with someone for a few more months yet. How do I get this physical contact I seem to desperately need?

Yet another question for me to ponder on over the next few months.

  1. When I split from my husband many years ago I went 2 years without any contact from anyone, I shut the world out and did a lot of soul searching and healing. And it was very much time well spent as I was utterly trashed by that marriage / experience..

    Does sound to me as tho you need to mentally accept the lack of contact, this should help… Cos it is worth this effort, this time of self-healing 🙂

    • Agree. It’s almost a surreal experience. I can see what’s happening before it ‘could’ happen. That physical contact is hard to not have. But I know that it’s just part of the self-healing as you have mentioned. Thanks for the reply I truly appreciate it.

  2. Alegra says:

    My love language is physical touch – I love affection. One of the things that drew me to Dan was the way he would cuddle me constantly. I was in heaven. I love how affectionate Joaquin and Zaviera are and I dread the day that they are too old to climb all over me (and secretly pray that they will never stop being affectionate it with me). When I look back at my past, I see how being deprived of the safe physical affection I recieved from close girlfriends (this is a topic I could go into at length and I’m sure we will some day – I think the affection between men in other countries is something that all men should be able to have) because of so much transition in my life constantly uprooting me from relationships that would allow that ‘familiarity’ females have with one another, led me into a lot of situations where I was attempting to simply meet that need for intimacy but in the wrong way. Those choices impacted me in a way that brought me further and further from what I was searching for. I still find that I am healing from damage created by looking for things in the wrong places. All of this is to say:
    go hold a bloke’s hand
    hang tight
    this too will pass


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