Patience is more than a virtue…

Posted: April 2, 2012 in Uncategorized
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For many years I have prided myself on being a very patient and caring person. This is how I expect others to treat me too. Sadly this is not always the case.

Sometimes It feels like certain people take advantage of my kind nature. The funny thing is I let people take advantage of my nature. For one simple reason. It’s a test. If these people don’t repay the kindness that I share with them, not necessarily towards me, then those people won’t see much of me again.

I am a very trusting person. When I first meet people I like to see the best in them. I like to be open and honest with them from the beginning and often give them the benefit of the doubt on certain behaviours that I usually frown upon. It is definitely not about me “judging” them. It’s more to do with seeing what people are ‘really’ like. As we all know everyone uses ‘masks’ to hide what they are really like. It just depends on what situation they are placed in before we actually get to see the ‘real’ them.

Once they have revelled themselves I am able to make a better decision on whether or not I want to continue a friendship with them. This has happened often in the past few weeks here. People whom I thought were ‘nice’ people ended up being (for lack of a better word) dickheads! Not only in things they said but in things they did, towards myself and others. There is only so far my patience can be tested. And I have learnt quickly to not invest too much time in these types of friendships.

A was someone whom I needed to invest more time in. She was someone I needed to show more patience with. That’s what you do with someone you love. That’s obvious. My situation is not isolated or unique. But it has taught me to do things BETTER than I use to do. To show patience and understanding to everyone, except for those dickheads. I’ve realised that I must make sure to surround myself with people who will not drain me of my own ‘energy’. I like my generous nature. But I don’t have to waste it on them.

So, patience is a virtue and something that I need to keep focussed on and spend it on good people. There are plenty of them around. I’ve even managed to have found some here…not many though!

  1. alegra22 says:

    I understand this process – it has taken me a long time to learn what DC wisely referred to as ‘discernment’ when it comes to relationships and how much I’m willing to invest and I have had to learn through some painful disappointments. I was thinking the other day how I’ve come to a place of generosity with others and acceptance of myself, and this allows the love to flow more freely than it ever has in my life. At the same time, I understand that once someone crosses a line with me and shows ‘their face’ as a friend of mine says, to pay attention to what they’ve shown me. I’m always ready to forgive and forget – but only if I see that the person has honestly become self-aware of what they’re struggling with.

  2. Very, very true. We are both surrounded by wonderful people AND forgiveness is another virtue that people often forget about. It’s the old adage of “give someone enough rope”…I’m a true believer in trying to positively influence others by my words and actions…if they still can’t see the wrong that they are doing then it’s time to move on to greener and nicer pastures…thanks again for your wonderful words!

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